A Side of Rice

Hopefully Humorous (and sometimes R-rated) Musings About Life


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Rice with a Side of Mocha

We had lost our family pet back in May, after 12 wonderful years with her.  Our boys had recently been talking about getting another dog, and my husband and I decided we would do just that. It would be a surprise Christmas gift for the boys.

Last Sunday, we told Alex and Nick we were going to Bed Bath and Beyond because I had some things to pick up.  Oh, the wailing and gnashing of teeth that commenced.  “Geez!”, Alex cried out.  “Do we have to go? Mom takes FORever in that store. She looks at EVERYthing — some things more than once.  It takes her HOURS to make a decision about what to buy. And it’s filled with boring stuff like kitchen crap.  Cookie and cake pans — like, who cares?”.  Nick offered this succinct suggestion, “Can us boys go next door to Sports Authority with dad instead, because Bed Bath and Beyond is stupid for kids”.

As we pulled into the parking lot that morning, I said “Boys, we have a surprise for you. We’re not going to Bed Bath and Beyond.  We are going next door to PetSmart because they are having a dog adoption event.”  There were whoops of happiness from the backseat as we parked the minivan.  I can’t be sure — were they more excited we were getting a dog, or that they weren’t going to be dragged into Bed Bath and Beyond?

We ended up selecting a 10 month old female chocolate lab, whose name was Galaxy.  Our first order of business — after dropping a bunch of money at PetSmart — was to rename our new dog.  Later that evening after careful consideration and a number of helpful outbursts from my husband like “holy crap, that’s a ridiculous name for a dog”, Alex came up with the name Mocha.

However, after a week of living with the not-yet adult dog, it is clear we could have come up with names that are more clever than another name for chocolate. And a more appropriate description of her behavior. Here’s my list of suggestions:

  • Get that out of your mouth
  • Get off the couch
  • Husband: "No way is this dog getting up on the couch."   How's that working out for ya, honey?

    Husband: “No way is this dog getting up on the couch.” How’s that working out for ya, honey?

  • Stop licking yourself there
  • Stop licking yourself there while you are on the couch
  • Socks are not chew toys
  • Christmas decorations are not chew toys
  • Shoes are not chew toys
  • I am not a chew toy
  • Why can’t you chew that ugly “disco snowman” decoration we got from our in-laws?
  • Drop it
  • DROP IT
  • DROP IT, DAMN IT
  • People food is not for dogs
  • She must be a chocolate lab, based on her interest in the ice cream all over Alex's face

    She must be a chocolate lab, based on her interest in the ice cream all over Alex’s face

  • Paws off the counter
  • Paws and snout off the counter
  • Get your snout out of the pizza on the counter!
  • Just move the cheese around and give that slice to dad since he didn’t see anything
  • Get off the bed
  • THIS is your bed.  Not the one I sleep in.

    THIS is your bed. I don’t want to share mine.

  • Get off my side of the bed
  • Get off my side of the bed if you are going to lick yourself there
  • Get the hell off my side of the bed if you are going to lick yourself there at 4:00am
  • Bring me paper towels
  • Bring me the carpet cleaner
  • This one’s a doozy…bring me the wet vac
  • Go outside and play with Luna – wear yourself out
  • Mocha and Luna have become fast fence friends

    Mocha and Luna have become fast fence friends

  • Who destroyed this baseball?
  • Who destroyed this frisbee?
  • Who’s brilliant idea was it to get a dog?
Welcome home Mocha

Welcome home Mocha

Thanks to Lab Rescue for our wonderful new family member, Mocha.