A Side of Rice

Hopefully Humorous (and sometimes R-rated) Musings About Life


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Ode to Our New Dog Jake

                                                                                      Ode to Our New Dog Jake                                                                                         (in the style of the nursery rhyme, “One, Two, Buckle My Shoe”)

One, two…he ate the other shoe

Jake thinks the shoes could use more salt

Jake thinks the shoes could use more salt

 Three, four….he’s destroyed the screen door

"Honey, we need to go to Lowe's"

“Honey, we need to go to Lowe’s”

Five, six…can’t you just chew on sticks?

Furniture: Expensive Sticks: Free

Furniture: Expensive
Sticks: Free

Seven, eight…let me get this straight

Image: Shutterstock

The fuck?

Nine, ten…he’ll get over this when?

Not. Soon. Enough.

Not. Soon. Enough.

Eleven, twelve…the clean laundry basket is not the place to delve

Socks must taste like chicken

Socks must taste like chicken

Thirteen, fourteen…humping Mocha is not a-courting

At least he cuddles Mocha in addition to humping her

At least he cuddles Mocha in addition to humping her

Fifteen, sixteen…stop counter surfing in the kitchen

Jake! Would you please let Alex eat his cereal in peace.

Jake! Would you please let Alex eat his cereal in peace.

Seventeen, eighteen… for you to drop something, I’m a-waiting

Jake! Stop trying to look so innocent...I know it was you who ate that stick of butter I had put on the counter.

Jake! Stop trying to look so innocent…I know it was you who ate that stick of butter I had put on the counter.

Nineteen, twenty…I know your food bowl is empty

Original version: source Wikipedia

One, two, Buckle my shoe;

Three, four, Open the door;

Five, six, Pick up sticks;

Seven, eight, Lay them straight:

Nine, ten, A big, fat hen;

Eleven, twelve, Dig and delve;

Thirteen, fourteen, Maids a-courting;

Fifteen, sixteen, Maids in the kitchen;

Seventeen, eighteen, Maids a-waiting

Nineteen, twenty, My plate’s empty.