A Side of Rice

Hopefully Humorous (and sometimes R-rated) Musings About Life


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Do You See What I See?

Our new family pet — an 11 month old chocolate lab named Mocha — has incredible vision.  And by incredible vision, I mean that she sees the true nature of anything.

Take, for instance, the wood piece that was under our king size bed as an additional support.  This is that wood piece:

Gnawed to perfection

Gnawed to perfection

But here’s what Mocha saw:

Love that "wood-y" flavor. Get it? Wood.

Love that “wood-y” flavor. Get it? Wood.

These are my new leather clogs:

On the arm of the couch - because the floor looks like a giant placemat.

My new clogs on the arm of a chair after being rescued — luckily with no damage.  Because to Mocha, the floor is a giant fucking placemat.

But here’s what Mocha saw:

A pile of leathery goodness

A pile of leathery goodness

This is the window sill in our bathroom:

"Why enjoy the view, when I can enjoy the chew" - Mocha

“Why enjoy the view, when I can enjoy the chew?” – Mocha

But here’s what Mocha saw:

"That sill was Kong-licious!"  -Mocha Rice

“Treats? In a chew toy? That’s arf-some!” -Mocha

Mocha isn’t the only one with a special gift for seeing the true nature of anything. For instance, this is me every night because of my sleep apnea:

Darth Vader meets Horton Hears a Who. And best birth control ever.

But here’s what my husband (tells me he) sees:

I know, I know. Jessica's boobs aren't as big as mine.

I know, I know. Jessica’s boobs aren’t as big as mine.

If you ask me, both Mocha and my husband are pretty damn insightful.