In case you’ve been living under a rock, Beyonce dropped a visual album last weekend. Suddenly, everyone’s thirst for celebrity gossip is being quenched by Lemonade. More like sour grapes, if you ask me.
And everyone wants to know who the fuck ‘Becky with the good hair’ is. There has been much speculation about who the home-wrecker could be, much to the delight of those of us who bask in the train-wreckdom that can be celebrity.
Or maybe, everyone is just anxious to prove they are not ‘Becky with the good hair’. Like Rachel Roy (who I, too, might confuse with Rachel Ray):
or pop singer Rita Ora…
or Full House actress Lori Loughlin…
Even Iggy Azalea is determined to clear her name, which — hello, you narcissistic twit — wasn’t even in the running…
So as Beckys and non-Beckys everywhere start denying the moniker of mistress/homewrecker/cheater, this Becky is here to say…
You know how you’d know it was me that Queen Bee was talking about? If she had sung:
Becky with a shit ton of laundry to fold
Becky with an absolute disdain for working the little league concession stand
Becky who is about 2 weeks late with the Root Touch-up
Becky with a bad sunburn
Becky with a bunch of
crazy ass sports mom friends who love doing Fireball shots
Becky with a lack of selfie-taking skills
So, let’s face it. I may be Becky with 99 problems, but being the Becky ain’t one.