A Side of Rice

Hopefully Humorous (and sometimes R-rated) Musings About Life

What All Those Snow Prediction Numbers Really Mean

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Unless you live in the southern or eastern hemisphere of Earth, you know that winter storm Jonas is pummeling the east coast of the United States. More importantly, the bulls-eye happens to be the area I live in.

Snowfall Predictions

There are lots of numbers and measurements being thrown around. Those are important, but I’m here to share the truth behind the numbers.

Numbers in inches: The snow started Friday afternoon, and as of Saturday morning at 9:00am we already have 15″ of snow. And it is falling at a rate of 2″ per hour until late into tonight. I’m no math wizard, but that sounds like a final snowfall total best described as 30+”, or:

  • ‘Ain’t-nobody-going-to-work-on-Monday’ inches, or
  • ‘How-the-fuck-do-we-walk-dogs-in-this-crap?’ inches, or
  • ‘Stop-arguing-over-the-damn-Xbox’ inches, or
  • ‘Watch-how-much-milk-you-drink-but-I’m-fine-because-I-bought-the-big-bottle-of-Fireball’ inches

Numbers in MPH: Another important prediction was the winds accompanying the storm. Some gusts are up to 50MPH, and these sustained winds, limited visibility, and large amounts of snow are what lead to blizzard conditions.

You know what else goes 50MPH? A freakin’ lab with cabin fever who gets to go outside after you clear a path from your deck through the yard to the area under where your giant cedar trees are.

And you know what doesn’t go 50MPH? Our other — and much more lazy — lab who, at 10:15am, is still sleeping upstairs. Along with my lazy sons and my husband.

Numbers in hours: This weather event started for us mid-afternoon Friday and is predicted to go until late Saturday — maybe even into early Sunday. That’s a potential for up to and possibly more than 35 hours of non-stop snow.

You know what else goes non-stop during a weather event like this?

  • The bitching and moaning about whose turn it is to play on the Xbox.
  • The bitching and moaning about the fact that with 40 gajillion channels on cable “there’s nothing to watch”.
  • The washing machine and dryer, because we finally have no conflicting sporting events for the kids.
  • A dog’s need to go outside — because in the canine brain, snow is infinitely more inviting than sunshine and refreshing summer breezes.


    “You humans are a bunch of candy-asses when it comes to this light dusting of snow.” – Lab who is actually equal parts lab, polar bear, and leaping kangaroo

  • A dog’s need to sit on you instead of next to you during a movie, when you finally do find something on cable to watch


    “After Age of Ultron, we get to watch Animal Planet, right?” – Lazy ass lab to oldest son, both of whom finally woke up

  • My need for Fireball because of the Xbox, cable, washer and dryer, dogs, kids, and husband.

And finally, here’s one number that I just can’t get out of my head today…only 57 days until Spring. I’m sure the Fireball will not last that long.


It’s important to stock up on the essentials during a blizzard.


Author: A Side of Rice

Married, mom, marketing professional. Loves swearing, pedicures and celebrity meltdowns. Hates making dinner and working the little league concession stand.

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