Last week, the
shy, retiring, conservative hot mess Miley Cyrus posted a photo of herself to Instagram. It sparked big controversy. Here’s my overall comment:
You see, much of what Miley thinks is bad ass, cool, controversial, and TMZ-worthy? Well, I did it first. But it was all before the age of social media, over-sharing, and post-Disney star implosions we have come to expect.
Need proof that I was first? Well, here you go haters.
Want to expand your sexy quotient by using hand gestures and tongue action?
The did-you-need-proof-that-I-have-a-tongue? photos:
Let’s show everyone how much we love our pets:
Then, there’s showing the world your tatas:
There’s the racy outfits:
How about sharing your signing talent?
So let’s get back to that controversial photo Miley recently shared with her 15+ million Instagram followers. Supposedly, it was a glimpse of
her girly bits an upcoming photo essay in V magazine. Quick question – based on Miley’s photo, does V stand for Vagina?
When I did all this, there was no Disney to fall disgraced from. No Instagram to provide a permanent visual record of my transgressions. No TMZ to hound me mercilessly and report my slip ups to a celebrity-obsessed public.
Sometimes there are benefits to being first. Especially when you don’t get credit for it.