A Side of Rice

Hopefully Humorous (and sometimes R-rated) Musings About Life

My Son Just Experimented with Grass…

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…mowing. Grass mowing. What the hell were you readers thinking, anyway?

Alex has become aware of the value of our money earning money, and asked for ways he could — in his words — “start makin’ da Benjamin’s, mom.” 

“You can start by makin’ da Washington’s. Or perhaps if you are lucky, da Lincolns, son,” was my reply.

This summer, we employed a neighbor’s daughter to mow our lawn because lacrosse, baseball, and football sucked up all of our time on the weekends. Plus, the required close-toed shoes for lawn mowing do not allow me to show off my pedicure. Pedicures > lawn maintenance. Just sayin’.

With school back in session, our summer lawn gal is now very busy with her rigorous high school classes and volleyball practice/games. Alex, on the other hand, has been very busy playing the replacement xBox we just received. When he’s not doing schoolwork or playing football, of course.

So this weekend, I told him I would pay him $20 to mow the lawn. It’s the first time he’s ever handled the lawn mower, so I stayed outside with him.

He did pretty well until he hit the water access pipe. It was a bit hidden under a pile of leaves, but he managed to damage the lid. He ran over it with the lawn mower, it made a loud metal-against-metal noise as it came off, wedged between the blade and the side of the blade casing, and completely shut down the mower.

My husband came outside and proceeded to bemoan the fact that only with our dumb luck would the top get wedged into the mower so tightly, it would require a hammer and a mallet to remove it. And a few dozen cuss words.

No, Water Authority, I have no idea how the top got all broken like that.

No, Water Authority, I have no idea how the top got all broken like that.

Once my husband de-wedged the top and carefully set it back in place, Alex avoided that area. He moved on to the side of the house, and while working on the area near our air conditioning unit, he promptly frightened the life out of a rabbit who usually lives in our bushes in front of the house. The rabbit popped out from behind the unit and took off running into our backyard. Alex was so startled, he let go of the mower and then had to chase it as it was headed into the side of our house.

He was able to finish up the lawn without further incident. He showed great form getting under trees, cornering, and missing lots of spots.

And in the end, he was one happy camper, having earned $20.

Mow the lawn 5

Hey mom, how ’bout you pay up?

Let’s just hope when it comes to grass in the future, he focuses on mowing it.


Author: A Side of Rice

Married, mom, marketing professional. Loves swearing, pedicures and celebrity meltdowns. Hates making dinner and working the little league concession stand.

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