I’m going to skip the pleasantries and get right to it. Look…you fat, furry fucker…I am done with winter. D.O.N.E.
People are going nuts, due to you seeing your shadow and predicting 6 more weeks of Winter. Here’s what your prognosticating has brought upon us:
Former pro players who show up for a
boring big football game, dressed like they are the odds-on favorite musher for the next Ididorad.
Musical geniuses, who raid their girlfriend’s kloset.
Drivers who think they are auditioning for Fast & Furious 12: Sick Semi Spin-outs.
Skittish school administrators, who post messages like this a minimum of once a week on our county’s school system website :
Parents, who are starting to read messages on the county’s school system website this way:
People who see ice here:
Instead of here:
Lady who is dangerously low on tequila, limes, salt, bread, milk, toilet paper, and patience. And not necessarily in that order.