So, Kanye finally popped
off something other than his mouth the question to his beloved Kim. What a spectacle it was (or so I hear…didn’t see a bit of it). It was at a baseball park, with a 50 piece orchestra, and the proposal flashed on the scoreboard. And she got a 13 carat diamond ring out of it.
13 ‘effing carats? That’s bigger than most of the balled up socks in my kids’ laundry basket. But not as big as the 20 carat stunner husband #2 gave her. Got some work to do there, huh Kanye?
Perhaps it is their lucky number because of all the other lesser known (and less sparkly) thirteens in Kim and Kanye’s life, like:
- The list of names left that are more stupid than North, when paired with West: Callo, Go, Hollo, Lo, Narro, Old, Out, Shallo, Slo, South, Wild, Yello, and last on the list Kayne
- The number of times Kim had to take a look-at-my-bangin’-post-baby-bod selfie, before she got the one that captured the heart-warming look that best embodies the grace and modesty of new motherhood:
- The number of months is seemed like Kim was pregnant, considering all the press we had to suffer through about it
- The number of drafts Taylor Swift has penned for her new song about a crazy drunk musician who makes a spectacle of himself at a music awards show by interrupting an acceptance speech to tell the audience who really should have won the award. Rumor has it this is the working title of the song: Blue Ivy > North
- The reported number of network execs who gagged at the title of a proposed new Kardashian reality spin off: NORTHern Exposure: Kim, Kanye, and the Kid
- The percentage that Ryan Seacrest’s total net worth jumps every time a Kardashian gets mentioned in the “news”
- The percentage of the American public that can’t believe Ryan Seacrest was smart enough to come up with a Kardashian reality show
- The length of time (in months) it took momager Kris to realize that the Jenner last name gravy train was not nearly as lucrative as the Kardashian last name gravy train
- The length of time (in minutes) Bruce Jenner truly mourned the demise of his marriage to Kris
- The length of time (in seconds) the rest of the world truly mourned the demise of Bruce’s marriage to Kris
- The speed (in seconds) at which odds-makers in Vegas put this union into the how-long-will-it-last pool
- The combined IQ of these two idiots