A Side of Rice

Hopefully Humorous (and sometimes R-rated) Musings About Life

Dunk. Dunk. Goof!

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My older son’s baseball team is planning a sports trip of a lifetime to Cooperstown Dreams Park in 2014. I have a few friends who have done it with their kids and they tell me it is an amazing experience for the players and the families.  They

  • play a week’s worth of games (along with a playoff and championship round)
  • get home and away uniforms
  • compete in skills competitions
  • stay onsite with their coaches and meet kids from the 104 teams from across the country and around the world who come to play that week

It’s $1,600 (per player). To earn the money to go, we are having a number of fundraisers for the boys.  First we did a Hit-a-Thon where the boys could be paid a flat amount, or per foot (220 feet maximum) for the farthest of 10 balls they hit.  I pledged $1 per foot and ended up stroking a check for $220.

That $220 worth of swing, right there

That $220 worth of swing, right there.

We have other fundraisers planned. “Fundraiser” seems to be a fancy ass name for “nice little event, but it doesn’t matter because mom and dad are going to be putting out for the majority of this anyway”.

During our town’s annual Summer carnival, the team was given the opportunity to staff the dunk tank one evening and share the proceeds with the local Fire Department. It was $1 for three balls, $3 for 10 balls and $5 for 20 balls. If you were able to dunk the person three times during your turn, you won a 2-liter of soda. So get some exercise and then load up on sugar. Great plan.

Each of our boys took a turn in the dunk tank. There was a microphone so you could heckle the ball throwers. Heckling seems to improve everyone’s aim because each boy ended up getting dunked.

Even the coaches got in on the action. Nothing makes your aim more accurate than the chance to dunk the coach who’s been riding your ass all season long about your fielding/throwing/hitting skills.

When it was my oldest’s turn, he encouraged the little kids who tried to dunk him. Until his younger brother Nick took a turn.  Then Alex began heckling Nick — which may have been a mistake.  Because that seemed to improve his accuracy.

Nick takes aim at his brother Alex

Nick takes aim at his brother Alex

Nick did so well with the 20 balls that he won this:

Fabulous. Let's give this crazy kid some liquid sugar.

Fabulous. Just what this kid needs —  liquid sugar.

Even though it wasn’t Nick’s team, he wore his swim trunks so that he could take a turn in the tank.  Nick’s turn came later in the evening, close to 10:00pm. By that time the little kids were gone, but older kids/young men who were trying to impress their girlfriend or posse were stepping up to show off their accuracy.

Nick was bit more excited about access to a microphone than the dunk tank. He began his heckling immediately. I had to refrain from shouting at him “Keep your distance from the microphone”. You see, much like his mother, Nick’s say-only-smart-things filter is actually set to say-only-smart-ass-things.

At the end of Nick’s turn, a big high schooler stepped up to try his luck with 20 balls. He wasn’t doing that well and when he got to the final ball, he threw it real hard. And missed.

Nick immediately grabbed the microphone and yelled “Sayonara Sucker!”  The team moms turned and looked at me like this:

The eyebrow and scowl of disapproval From website: http://inflexionadvisors.com/

The eyebrow and scowl of disapproval
From website: http://inflexionadvisors.com/

and one of them commented, “Nick is such a mini-Becky”.

Yep, he’s a total goof.


Author: A Side of Rice

Married, mom, marketing professional. Loves swearing, pedicures and celebrity meltdowns. Hates making dinner and working the little league concession stand.

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