I was under the mistaken impression that 4 years of braces, headgear and rubberbands for me — as well as my husband’s mouthful of perfectly straight, never-altered-by-hardware teeth — would mean that we would get a pass on the big O when it came to our kids.
But no. Both our boys have been referred to an orthodontist to determine how we can burn through our lifetime maximum of orthodontia per kid, faster than Kardashians make money, just for being
talented classy subtle … uh … reality TV fodder and punchlines for comics?
The lifetime maximum orthodontia benefit is $2,000 a person, per my dental plan. My very helpful dental plan’s website has an “orthodontia estimation calculator” — which would be more aptly named if it was called The Silver-Plated Money Suck Estimator. It tells me I can expect basic/nothing exotic/this-will-never-be-your-case orthodontia to cost us a minimum of approximately $6,000.
Luckily, the orthodontia practice we have selected offers an interest-free payment plan. That’s a good thing, since the non-covered portion of this orthodontia is going to cost me as much as:
A set of perfect happy faces will be a minimum of $8,000 out-of-pocket for us. It’s hard to believe, however, that any amount of money can improve upon these smiles.