A Side of Rice

Hopefully Humorous (and sometimes R-rated) Musings About Life

I’m Jumping on the Blogwagon

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About a week ago, a bunch of funny blogging gals I follow conducted a blog hop. They all wrote about the same thing—what their blogs would have been about if they’d written them in their 20′s. They then linked to one another’s submissions. I will say that after reading the blogs, I may never think of leg warmers, Wham! or Doogie Howser, MD in the same way.

I was surprised I wasn’t asked to join in. But then I realized they probably wanted bloggers with a large following. Followers who aren’t inmates. Or relatives. And especially if that list isn’t mutually exclusive.

I was inspired (even if I wasn’t asked) to put together a synopsis of what my blog would have been about if I’d written it in my 20s. You’ll find links to read their really funny blogs at the end of my (lame ass) list.

So here’s what I would have been pontificating about in my 20s:

  1. The skills and talents required to swipe a song list from the stage at the end of the concert. Without invoking the ire of bouncers/security. After you’ve had a drink to boost your courage. Or maybe enough alcohol for a righteous buzz. OK, let’s face it…I was completely drunk and I’m surprised I wasn’t given the list in exchange for my panties, which I (repeatedly) offered the band.
  2. Why dating a guy in a local band [who nobody is interesting in stealing the song list from] is not smart. But it will help you establish a killer line of credit as you underwrite Mr. underachiever’s dream of being Bono. However, Bono can underwrite his own equipment, thank you very much. And wouldn’t building credit be really great if I were actually building it with something that ended up being MINE when the final payment was made?

    I dated the one who thought he looked like Bono. But he so didn't (second from right, cuz I know you still can't tell).

    I dated the one who thought he looked like Bono. But he SOOOOO didn’t. He’s second from the right, cuz I know you still can’t tell.

  3. Why perms are bad. And the photographic evidence to prove it.
  4. How to get flattering pictures of yourself with your tongue hanging out. Also known as Zima-infused shenanigans.
  5. Proper etiquette at wine festivals.
  6. Obviously, the first rule is making sure your hot pink shirt matches your hot pink sunglasses and hot pink earrings.

    Obviously, the first rule is making sure your hot pink shirt matches your hot pink sunglasses and hot pink earrings.

  7. What to do with the 16 bridesmaids dresses you will end up with after being assured by friends who are getting married, “It’s not prom-y at all, I swear. It will be perfect to wear for future dressy occasions.”. Sure … dressy occasions that require taffeta, satin, unflatteringly placed oversized bows (baby got some serious back!) and dyed-to-match cheap pumps. At least I could afford all the dresses and accessories with my amazing line of credit.
  8. My sisters Susan and Nancy in raspberry taffeta bridesmaid dresses with matching garters. The picture taker (me) had the same outfit on. None of us should have EVER worn white shoes (wink, wink). On the alter, no less.

    My sisters Susan and Nancy in raspberry taffeta bridesmaid dresses with matching garters. The picture taker (me) had the same outfit on. None of us should have EVER worn white shoes (wink, wink). On the alter, no less.

  9. White water rafting – leave your fears onshore and paddle like hell!
  10. No perm, eyebrows waxed and ready for some rapids.

    No perm, eyebrows waxed and ready for some rapids.

Hmmm. If cool content was important, maybe not being asked had nothing to do with my family’s RAP sheet after all.

Go ahead and jump on the blog jump:

Wendi Aarons

Midlife Mixtape

The Flying Chalupa

I’m Gonna Kill Him

Smacksy

Earth Mother Just Means I’m Dusty

Motherhood in NYC

The Mama Bird Diaries

Baby on Bored

Peace, Love & Guacamole

Wait in the Van

Tales of (Married) Mikkimoto

Ann’s Rants

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Author: A Side of Rice

Married, mom, marketing professional. Loves swearing, pedicures and celebrity meltdowns. Hates making dinner and working the little league concession stand.

5 thoughts on “I’m Jumping on the Blogwagon

  1. This is HILARIOUS. I think bridesmaid dresses should be their own blog hop – maybe one about “creative ways in which I’ve discarded them”? Also – your handwritten set lists. Stop. I’m drooling. Just found out one of the Smithereens lives in my BFF’s neighborhood, we are trying to set a date to stalk him by walking our dogs past his house. Glad you were inspired by our sad little lists!

  2. OMG Bartles and Jaymes! I haven’t heard that in decades. And whatever happened to the Smithereens?! Too funny!

  3. ZIMA RULEZZZZZZ! *snort*
    My brother was a bartender and he *HATED* when my friends & I would come in to his bar and order Zima (with a shot of Razzmatazz). He almost kicked us out for doing that!

    And…awesome set lists! Well done!

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