A Side of Rice

Hopefully Humorous (and sometimes R-rated) Musings About Life

My League of Extraordinary Gentlemen


Nothing brings greater pride to a parent than having their child selected for a special school program. Especially if the program description doesn’t involve the words “juvenile record”, “police report” or “detention”.

We were thrilled when our youngest son Nick was selected for the elementary school’s math team league, for showing excellence and advanced skills in his regular classroom work.  Usually it’s his older brother Alex who gets all the accolades, comes home with straight A’s and easily makes the all star/elite team for every sport.

So to have Nick singled out for his special talents is a very big deal. We have already been made aware of his excellence in talking too much in class and in prompting his teacher say to his older brother “I wish I had you back in my class this year instead of your brother Nick.”  

Yep, that’s what the teacher actually said.  Should make for an excellent parent/teacher confrontation conference in a few days, no?

But if I really had my choice, there are a few other “elite” groups, I’d like to have my boys be a part of.  Like, The League of …

  • Boys Who Throw Away Hershey’s Kisses Wrappers Instead of Leaving Them All Over the Playroom Floor
  • Kids Who Can Insert and Remove an Athletic Cup BY THEMSELVES
  • Sons Who Rinse A Dish Every Once and Awhile and Put It Directly in the Dishwasher Instead of Leaving It on the Counter Like It’s a Science Experiment
  • Offspring That Don’t Barge in on Mom When She is Taking a Shower
  • Young Men Who Can Translate Their Talent for Sinking 10 Three-Point Shots in a Row into Having Their Dirty Laundry Hit the Hamper Instead of the Floor
  • Homeys Who Aren’t Allergic to Belts That Will Hold up Their Pants
  • Little Dudes Who Would Like to Take ONE Season Off to Give Their Parents a Break from the Baseball-Football-Basketball Merry-Go-Round
  • Future Superstars Who Will Get a Full Ride Scholarships to College Because They Didn’t Take a Damn Break from Sports
  • Curious Minds That Don’t Rifle Through Mom’s Purse, Pull Out an Object and Yell Across Target “Hey Mom, What’s a Tampax?”

But before any of those elite teams come to fruition, perhaps I could get this one off the ground:

Husbands Who When They Say They Are Going to Clean Up from Dinner, Actually Mean It and Don’t Just Fill the Dirty Dishes with Water, Leaving Them in the Sink Along with the Food Scraps That Didn’t Make It to the Garbage Disposal So That You Can Find (and Smell!) Everything the Next Morning.


Author: A Side of Rice

Married, mom, marketing professional. Loves swearing, pedicures and celebrity meltdowns. Hates making dinner and working the little league concession stand.

3 thoughts on “My League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

  1. I am now in the sports circle. I feel your pain! At least your husband put them in the sink?

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