A Side of Rice

Hopefully Humorous (and sometimes R-rated) Musings About Life

Back (to School) Talk – Celebrity Edition!

1 Comment

The first week of school is such an exciting time for everyone.  Children head back to the classroom to meet with friends, share stories of their Summer adventures and begin an exciting new year of learning.  Parents marvel at the amount of homework that needs to be checked and the price of Lunchables.  Teachers begin the countdown to Summer vacation for the school year that just started.

And I’m pretty sure the conversations I have with my boys are similar to what celebrities discuss with their kids.  Right?

Overheard at the Rice House:  “For the love of all that is holy,  put the @#$%ing Xbox controller down, grab a donut from the box and just eat your damn breakfast already.”

Overheard at Beckham House: “Who ate mommy’s last 1/2 of a rice cake?  It’s my BIG breakfast morning, damn it.”

Image from: straightpinkie.com

Overheard at the Rice House: “What the hell made you think drawing skulls on your arm with a Sharpie was a good idea?”

Overheard at the Pitt-Jolie House: “If we get a good report from all your teachers this first week, we’re all getting ‘Team Pitt-Jolie’ tattoos!”

Image from: hollywoodlife.com

Overheard at the Rice House:  “Mrs. X (last name changed to protect teacher’s identity) said she wishes she had me in her class again this year, instead of my brother Nick.”

Overheard at the Kardashian House:  “My teacher (sob) keeps kalling me (sob) Kim and asking if Kayne is just a rebound booty kall.”

Overheard at the Rice House:  “Mom, here’s your “Fifty Shades of Grey” book back.  I took it to school today for show and tell.  I think my teacher was really impressed.  She wants you to come in for a meeting.”

Overheard at the Cruise Holmes House:  “Suri, give me that Dianetics book.  You can not take it in for show and tell!”

Image from: http://www.usmagazine.com James Devaney/WireImage.com

Overheard at the Rice House: “Perhaps we should adopt a different tone when asking mom for an after school snack.”

Overheard at the Madonna House: “Perhaps we should adopt another child.”

Overheard at the Rice House:  “Get your cup and jock strap off the kitchen table!”

Overheard at the Brady/Bundchen House:  “Get daddy’s 3 Super Bowl rings off the kitchen table!”

Overheard at the Rice House:  “Why can’t we just sleep later and then you drive us to school?”

Overheard at the (Michael) Jackson House:  “Aunt Janet says we have to start our own carpool because Uncle Jermaine’s kids take up the entire limo.”

Overheard at the Rice House:  “Why did you tell your teacher your favorite band was ‘Laugh My Fucking Ass Off’.  You know they go by just the initials, right?”

Overheard at the Hudson House:  “No, I do not want to hear Hard to Handle.  Just play something from Muse.”

Overheard at the Rice House: “When is mom going to get a job again so we can buy lunch at school?”

Overheard at the Affleck/Gardner House: “When is mom going to get a job again so we can eat at Spago all the time?”

Overheard at the Rice House:  “Pick up your @#$%-ing bookbag so I don’t trip over it again.”

Overheard at the Guidice House:  “@#$%-ing pick up your @#$%-ing bookbag so I don’t @#$%-ing trip over it again.

Overheard at the Rice House:  “There are three Alex’s in my class this year.  How cool is that?”

Overheard at the Beyonce/Jay Z House:  “I’m the only ®-kid, mom. How cool is that?”

Overheard at the Rice House: “Just smell the shirt and see if it’s clean or not.”

Overheard at the Stefani/Rossdale House: “How are you going to look like mommy’s little L.A.M.B. when you are wearing that crap from Old Navy?”

Overheard at the Rice House: “It’s not like the paparazzi are always chasing us, so would it @#$%-ing kill ya to smile just this once?”

Image from: mom’s camera

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Author: A Side of Rice

Married, mom, marketing professional. Loves swearing, pedicures and celebrity meltdowns. Hates making dinner and working the little league concession stand.

One thought on “Back (to School) Talk – Celebrity Edition!

  1. Hahahaha! Too funny! Great post!

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