This is what I overheard in the fitting room area of my local Target store last Saturday. Perhaps I’m missing an opportunity to create the next viral YouTube sensation.
“Sweet Jesus! Does your mother not know the difference between girls snow pants and boys snow pants?”
“She said she found them in the clearance bin. But she also said ‘don’t show daddy the pink tag and everything will be ok'”.
“Well, what the hell ever. Do NOT try them on”.
“DO NOT put your tongue on that mirror again.”
“Achooooo! Look dad — boogers on the mirror!”
“Could you cover your nose and mouth before you let loose like that?”
“Ack! Your brother is licking the mirror again. STOP THAT!”
“I have to pee.”
“Of course you do. Because the bathroom is in the exact opposite corner of this store from where we are now. Geez, put your pants on and let’s go.”
“Do I have to put on my pants, cuz we need to hurry. I have to poop too.”
“Mom, is that shirt supposed to look like that? It’s way too small to fit over your tummy.”
“Dad, do we have to buy the pants if I ripped them while putting them on?”
“Did you just spill your grape juice all over that white shirt I was going to try on? @#$%!!”
“Mom, Tracy is making that face like when she’s….ew. Do you smell that?”
“Dad! Mom says you better get your sorry butt back here and tell her what you think about my outfit.”
“Look what I found in your purse mom! What’s a Tampax?”
Full disclosure – only one of these conversations was courtesy of the Rice family. I’m so glad we are showing some improvement in our behavior. So, can you guess which conversation was ours?