A Side of Rice

Hopefully Humorous (and sometimes R-rated) Musings About Life

Sing Along If You Know the Words

4 Comments

It’s the holiday season. And while your family may enjoy belting out the classic holiday jingles, here’s a list of songs* we sing in the Rice household.

  • Aunt Clarice is Coming to Town, So Let’s Flip a Coin to See Who Has to Put That Crazy Bitch Up
  • Oh, Christmas Tree. You Would Understand Why I Thought You Said Christmas Plea Since We Were Talking About My Ex
  • It’s Beginning to Look A Lot Like I’m Going to Overdraw the Checking Account
  • Uncle Sal, the Red Nosed Sot
  • All I Want for Christmas Is Two Fucking Minutes to Myself
  • (I’m Gonna) Deck the Halls with Your Damn Dirty Underwear If You Don’t Start Putting It in the Hamper
  • You Are Not Roasting Your Brother’s DS Over an Open Fire, Unless You Want a Massive Time Out
  • Frosty the Mother-in-Law
  • Have Yourself a Merry Little Hangover
  • As If There Will Ever Be a Silent Night Around Here
  • It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year … If You Define Wonderful As Having In-Laws Up Your Ass
  • My Kid Is Now the Little Drummer Boy Thanks to Aunt Martha’s Gift (Paybacks Are Hell, Aunt Martha)
  • The Twelve Lights of Christmas That Are Causing the Whole Damn Strand to Malfunction
  • Do You Hear What I Hear? The Boys Are Fighting Over the xBox Again

* – Some names may have been changed to protect the guilty relatives friends innocent.

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Author: A Side of Rice

Married, mom, marketing professional. Loves swearing, pedicures and celebrity meltdowns. Hates making dinner and working the little league concession stand.

4 thoughts on “Sing Along If You Know the Words

  1. Ah, I can hear the music to go with each one. There’s also my personal favorite–“Chestnuts exploding like shotgun shells because I didn’t score those bad boys deeply enough before I put them in the oven”.

    Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to get an early start on my merry little hangover.

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