A Side of Rice

Hopefully Humorous (and sometimes R-rated) Musings About Life

This IS My Costume


This Halloween, I was surrounded by frightful things that went bump in the night. Well, actually, it was more of a
oh….shit….uh….thump….OUCH! in the late afternoon.

You see, even though I hadn’t worn a costume, part of me ended up dressed like a mummy:

It all started innocently enough. The boys were getting dressed in their elaboratrely thought out, purchased well in advance last minute, thank-God-we found-something-that-fits get ups from Party City.

We had one very scary bad dude from the Scream movies, who informed us his plastic mask smelled “worse than the dog’s breath”:

There was Boba Fett, complete with a (why the #$%* did we buy this #$%*-ing thing) inflate it yourself and get a head rush jet pack:

And the two of them together? $47.95 worth of full-on scary:

Of course I thought this was the scariest thing I had going on that night:
Get mommy the Root Touch Up – STAT!

But all of this was before I went outside to set candles and decorations on our front porch. I turned to look back and make sure our porch lights were working. And the next thing I know, I’m flat on my back after hitting our flagstone path, square on my forearm. As I gazed up at the lovely autumnal sky, I thought to myself “I wonder if any of our neighbors caught that on tape and will be winning 10 grand for some sort of funny video contest at my very pained expense”.

The Scream villian came running out and looked down at me. Then he yelled upstairs – “Dad, mom’s lying in the grass in front of the house.” He paused to think about the ramifications of his mom being flat on her back on the front lawn and then added, “we still get to go trick or treating, right?”

If klutzy is a costume, every day is my Halloween.


Author: A Side of Rice

Married, mom, marketing professional. Loves swearing, pedicures and celebrity meltdowns. Hates making dinner and working the little league concession stand.

7 thoughts on “This IS My Costume

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  2. I’m a little disappointed that you didn’t tell the doctor to not stop at your arm and just completely wrap you up. But then I’ve always wanted to be a mummy for Halloween–I’ve just never been able to figure out how to do it. Or you could have taken advantage of the silver roots, added a long streak of white, put on gloves (conveniently covering up the bandage) and gone as Rogue from The X-Men.

    Remember: when life gives you lemons on Halloween make Butterfinger bars.

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