In April, I found myself in the very unexpected position of being unemployed. Luckily, I had my husband to reassure me during my job search with such uplifting encouragement like — “suck it up, don’t get comfortable being an effin’ mooch and put that MBA from Hopkins to good use”.
Because I was on the hunt for a job, my Summer turned out to be nothing like I had anticipated. I no longer had to subject myself to the daily freak show that is the commuter bus/train/metro experience. I had the opportunity to really assess my professional strengths and weaknesses. And I was
forced to delighted to volunteer for my kids’ activities at school.
In just 114 days, I found a new job. And not a moment too soon. Because here’s what I learned during my Summer vacation:
- Once I harvest multiple moonstones, I don’t have enough coins to buy special gems in Bejeweled Blitz.
- The parents of the kids on my son’s little league team seem to like my cookies better than the actual kids on my son’s little league team. They now refer to me as “cookie lady”, which makes me feel like someone being featured on Hoarders who can’t find her kitchen due to having the world’s largest collection of Girl Scout cookie boxes.
- Having to handwash dishes is a real bitch on my manicure.
- I should be thankful I only have two kids to take shoe shopping.
- It takes an average of 20 hours a week to conduct a successful job search. It takes another 4,354,567 hours per week to accomplish all the other things that need to get done when you are “not working”.
- No offense to Wendi Aarons, but she really needs to work on her benefits plan if she wants someone to apply for this job.
- The inferno frog power in Zuma Blitz eats up my mojo points, but getting one extra inferno frog shot is soooo worth it.
- Stay-at-home parent is code for hardest working person on the planet.
- The average time it takes for my 8 and 9 year old to begin fighting over whose turn it is to play the xBox is about .0001 of a second before my head explodes.
- There is more than one famous Beyonce on planet Earth.
- Tequilla tastes good. And it doesn’t even ruin the taste when you add margarita mix, ice cubes and salt.
- I am not the only person who gets her important world news from weekly magazines.
- If I check the American Express bill statement carefully enough, I will notice that my husband bought $10 worth of facebook credits for all the games he plays.
- When my husband checks the American Express bill statement, he won’t notice all the mani/pedi appointments I had while I was unemployed. Because I charged them all on the Visa bill. Which he doesn’t look at.