A Side of Rice

Hopefully Humorous (and sometimes R-rated) Musings About Life

This Post *Not* Sponsored by a Condom Manufacturer


One of my family’s favorite local places to eat is the Double T Diner. The menu is crazy huge, and no matter what time of day, you can always have breakfast. Which is a far cry from the Rice kitchen, where you can always have Frosted Flakes. OK…truthfully, you can always have stale Frosted Flakes, but not a whole lot else.

Another reason we like it is because the minute we sit down, our youngest son Nick always flips over his ad-filled paper placemat and begins to draw with the crayons the Diner has on hand. Sorry Dr. Chiropractor, Mr. Lawn Care Guy and Attorney Worker’s Comp Claim, as I know you all paid a lot to have your ads staring up at Nick from behind his plate of french fries and sausage. Hey, don’t judge – meat and french fries are Nick’s two basic food groups.

Nick’s imagination runs free, and he has created the most amazing train-scapes (back in his Thomas the Tank Engine phase) and Plants vs. Zombies battles. However on this day, he was moved to re-create a scene from the online game Bloons Tower Defense III.

He began working immediately on a monochromatic rendering of Bloons Tower Defense III, complete with monkeys, missles and balloons. I had no idea what it all meant, but he took the time to explain the game to me — to his credit, with minimal eye-rolling directed at me — because he knew I was not nearly cool enough to know about this Pacman of the new millennium.

So, this was his impression of the game:

“See!”, he proclaimed with great pride. “This is what the game is exactly like. It is so cool and I really like to play it. So can I tell you how it goes mom?”

Mom was a little preoccupied with the rendering. “Um…Nick? Could you tell me what that is?” I asked, pointing to a section of his masterpiece.

At which point Nick’s brother Alex chimes in “Duh. It’s a missle”. To which Nick added “Yeah, mom. I mean, come on. Everyone knows those are missles.”

Just to be sure, I pointed to the particular section of the picture giving me pause, and said to my husband, “Hey, what does this look like to you?”

He looked up from his food long enough to glance at the picture and say “It looks ribbed for her pleasure”.


Author: A Side of Rice

Married, mom, marketing professional. Loves swearing, pedicures and celebrity meltdowns. Hates making dinner and working the little league concession stand.

6 thoughts on “This Post *Not* Sponsored by a Condom Manufacturer

  1. Pleasurable with full protection. Greatness.

  2. Dude. How did the KIDS know that was a missile? I mean….that’s the weirdest part to me.

  3. Pingback: Draw Your Own Conclusions «

  4. Pingback: Oh, We of Little Faith « A Side of Rice

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