A Side of Rice

Hopefully Humorous (and sometimes R-rated) Musings About Life

Have Crap – Will Sell

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We are finally having the yard sale for my mother-in-law’s small estate. Her estate is small in retail value, but (unfortunately) large in terms of number of items.

I’m so excited to be getting this stuff into the yard and (hopefully) into the hands of “previously owned” bargain shoppers. I mean, there is just no room in my house for a crocheted Redskins outfit on a stuffed bear. Or the hundreds of other like items.

There is a lot you need to accomplish in prepping for a yard sale. I had no idea the list of “to do’s” would be this long. But there seems to be a discrepancy. See if you can spot it.

My “To Do” List:
Two weeks before:

  • Research collectibles online to determine approximately how much we should be selling this stuff for.

Two days before:

  • Compose and post announcement about yard sale on Craigslist so we can make sure all the freaky murderers are aware of where we live.
  • Post event on my facebook page, so that all my friends can make snarky commentary about all the junk we are trying to offload on others.
  • Take pictures of items so we have proof to post on Craigslist that this stuff does exist and we are not just making it up.

Day Before:

  • Mow lawn for most presentable retail appearance because I’m unemployed and have all the free time in the world while I’m searching for a new job. Plus, my husband had to take care of his Farmville empire yesterday evening after work, so there was no time for real yard work.
  • Dig out old bedsheets we will never use again to put on tables to cover the fact they were “borrowed” from my brother-in-law’s place of work. The tables will be returned, people. Unless you’d like to make us an offer.
  • Run to Walmart to find 4 different colored stickers so we can price by category.
  • Run to Staples to get the one extra color since Walmart only had 3 colors.
  • Play “Find the Sharpies” within my mother-in-law’s gajillion boxes of crafting supplies, so that yard sale items can be priced appropriately. On a related note, is there a decent market for “previously owned” Sharpies?
  • Make cupcakes for my son’s team who has a little league game the day of the yard sale — our family has snack and drink duty! My husband can’t attend the game because he will be busy at the Yard Sale making us millions. Split three ways with his brothers. Or maybe the three of them will just be busy shooing away murderers.
  • Wash other son’s uniform who has a make-up game the evening before the yard sale, which totally messes with my plans to have a late afternoon mani/pedi and get ready for the We Weekly Chat.
  • Reply to e-mail we received from someone who saw our post on Craigslist and wants an entire inventory of Redskins items and pricing information. I resisted the urge to start my reply with “Just get here early bitch and it’s all yours”.
  • Have phone consultation with the organizers of a marketing event I am volunteering at next week.
  • Send out two resumes so I can quickly make sure I never have this much “free time” again.

My husband’s “To Do” List:

  • Give unemployed wife a list of things to do
  • Get money (ones and fives) at the bank in order to make change for the gobs of shoppers that will be stopping by
  • Purchase mani/pedi gift certificate to thank wife, which is the least he can do
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Author: A Side of Rice

Married, mom, marketing professional. Loves swearing, pedicures and celebrity meltdowns. Hates making dinner and working the little league concession stand.

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