A Side of Rice

Hopefully Humorous (and sometimes R-rated) Musings About Life

Christmas Card Palooza


Every year it’s the same old routine when it comes to year-end holiday hoopla. It starts with me taking every Friday off in the month of December so I can bake, shop, mail, pedicure, manicure and all the other traditional holiday activities.

The first Friday I am off, I prepare and mail out about 140 Christmas cards. Nope, that’s not a typo – 140. And just so you know how OCD I am about it, here is a visual – complete with a handy guide.

Christmas Card Table

  1. Table purchased at Costco for yard sale that we never had. Now converts easily to Christmas card assembly/prep station, so it really wasn’t a waste of money.
  2. Large size iced tea from Burger King. Gotta pump my body full of caffeine to keep the fa la la la la going at full steam. Wish it was a big glass of Esprussian (special concoction of coffee and Kaluha), but if I’ve gotta pick up the kids later, I need to be able to pass the field sobriety test.
  3. “Aw” inspiring wallet size picture of Alex and Nick, Christmas pose #1
  4. Ibid, Christmas pose #2
  5. Ibid, Christmas pose #3
  6. Ibid, Christmas pose #4
  7. Less “aw” inspiring wallet size picture of Alex and Nick, pose #5 in Steelers jerseys
  8. Oops…still need to mail the renewal to National Geographic magazine. And payment for that photo enforcement fine my husband got for speeding in the work zone.
  9. Stack of holiday cards stuffed and addressed. Damn, I know a lot of people with the last name A though E
  10. Variety of holiday cards to choose from so that I can mix it up. Includes one card that doesn’t mention the word Christmas or have any holly, trees, red/green, wreathes, Santas, stockings, reindeer, etc., that will be sent to non-celebrating and mixed religion households
  11. Red and green Sharpies to address the outer envelope. Blue one in there also, for same reason as above.
  12. Bag of trash for envelopes I screw up, metalic pen explosions that result in the ruination of a Christmas card, edges of pictures I cut off and about 16 Reece’s peanut butter cup wrappers. Hey, a girl’s gotta start the day with a good breakfast, right?
  13. The most recently addressed Christmas card, all ready to add to item #9
  14. Silver and gold metallic markers for writing the personalized holiday greeting on the inside of each card.
  15. Envelope seals, in a variety of shapes, colors, holiday sentiments. Desparately try to match them to the card style, but not always successful.
  16. Ha! I’ve been looking for that Target receipt with instructions for online survey and a chance to win a $5,000 shopping spree.
  17. Tape for the “picture frame” cards so that the wallet-size photos fit in the $%!*-ing 4″ x 6″ space. Make mental note to read fine print on package more carefully next year when buying cards that frame pictures.
  18. Return address labels, in a variety of styles and colors. Including the generic snowflake version so as not to offend the non-Christmas celebrators.
  19. Address list of all those who receive a card, including spouse/partner names and kids.
  20. Box that holds the forever holiday stamps, and the 4 stamps needed for Canadian recipients. Additional metallic pens in case I run out or have another unfortunate “explosion” incident. Additional Sharpies for envelope addressing (red gave out awful early this year!)
  21. Storage container (out of picture, but within arm’s reach) with the 20 extra boxes of holiday cards once I begin running out of the first team (see item #10).
  22. Holiday stationary to print the barf-inducing “here’s how wonderful our life was this year” update that gets stuffed in (most) cards.

If you think this is bad, you should see how I spend the second Friday of December….


Author: A Side of Rice

Married, mom, marketing professional. Loves swearing, pedicures and celebrity meltdowns. Hates making dinner and working the little league concession stand.

9 thoughts on “Christmas Card Palooza

  1. That is just sick. Just can’t do it.
    Just to give you perspective on how lame I am –
    I forgot Drew’s birthday this year.

  2. Note for next year: Sharpie now makes metallic silver and gold markers. They’re just like a regular sharpie so no explosions or leaks like the metallic ones.

  3. Awesome! Less waste next year!

  4. You know, of course, that I will be checking my card against the photo to see from whence it came. LOVE the visual, you’re a scream.

    Merry Christmas!

    • I believe the Rizzos weren’t in the photo at this time. This was early in the process. The visual pretty much makes it all come together, huh?

      • Indeed! Ours did arrive yesterday, as always, it’s a pleasure to receive the first card of the season, and that is ALWAYS yours! Hopefully ours will get out, a lot in flux right now, will explain soon…and have a Merry Christmas!

  5. Pingback: Mother Nature? I’d Like A Word with You, Please… « A Side of Rice

  6. Pingback: Picture Perfect | A Side of Rice

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