A Side of Rice

Hopefully Humorous (and sometimes R-rated) Musings About Life

DIY is Not a Couples Activity

6 Comments

All those DIY shows on TV would like you to believe that happy couples paint, nail, hammer and redecorate in near-perfect harmony. Especially when you have 1) unlimited funds, and 2) a host like that stud muffin of a home DYI-er Mike Holmes.

Couple Painting

(c) iofoto - and NOT the Rices

It’s total BS. Quite frankly, couples DIY-ing only leads to

  1. snide commentary about your partner’s spackling skills being akin to the splatter, dripping and smudges of a Jackson Pollak masterpiece (though your work is worth millions less),
  2. a raging 3 week argument over whether “Silver Bells” or “Stonemist” is the right color for the upstairs guest bath,
  3. a nuclear meltdown in the light fixtures section of Lowe’s when you can’t decide between brushed nickel and plain nickel finish, and – finally –
  4. therapy sessions that cost you more than your plans for a finished basement complete with jumbo-tron screen, massage-o’-lounger seating for 25, and a bar with beer AND margaritas on tap.

So my husband (Mr. I-don’t-want-to-fix-anything) and I (Mrs. No-shit-sherlock-I-feel-the-same-way-about-housework-and-making-dinner-every-night) decided that the best thing to do was call a professional handyman service to avoid the rants and snarling that would undoubtedly overtake two normally civil and happy individuals who are thrust into the vortex of home improvement projects.

When I got home after the first day of work, the butler’s pantry was painted (a mere 5 years after we put the primer on) and the 6 shelves that had been collecting dust between my washer and dryer for the past year were now hung in the family room, and the boys’ bedrooms. Upstairs, I was giddy as I moved the collection of trophies from the floor, closet, and dirty laundry pile to their new home on the expertly hung shelves.

I stepped back and for a moment had a gush of pride as I surveyed the trophies and ribbons that my 8 year old Alex and 7 year old Nick have already collected for soccer, basketball and football. And suddenly I realized that a happy couple was the catalyst for this DIY project.

It was a happy couple….
who had two kids….
that won the trophies….
that made it possible for this DIY project in the first place.

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Author: A Side of Rice

Married, mom, marketing professional. Loves swearing, pedicures and celebrity meltdowns. Hates making dinner and working the little league concession stand.

6 thoughts on “DIY is Not a Couples Activity

  1. The other day in the IKEA parking lot, I walked over one of those plastic packages full of screws, nails, and cheap tools. All I could think to myself as I stepped over the fallen soldier was:
    “that’s a divorce in the making’

    DIY blows. And I fall for it everytime.

  2. After years of DIY lifestyle, I think after all the mistakes, rants, couple counseling you would save a bundle just hiring someone. Now if someone could just tell my husband that, I would be in the clear….meanwhile still giving him the scowl while waiting for all his projects to get done already….this list is long….maybe I should hire a second husband,

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