A Side of Rice

Hopefully Humorous (and sometimes R-rated) Musings About Life

I’ve Got Blue & Gold Fever

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It starts simply enough — with t-shirts.  You see a bedazzled iron-on that will allow you to show your support for your sons’ team — the Lions — with a paw print (score!) in the team’s royal blue color (double score!) for all three sports they play (nirvana!!):

Mom Paw Print Bling. Cool!

So, of course, you purchase 4 of them, along with white, blue and gold t-shirts so you can show your support for the baseball, football and basketball Lions you will be supporting all year round.  And your boobs end up looking like this:

If you stare at the bling long enough, you’ll see how much I suck at something as simple as iron-ons.

To supplement the bling, you’ll order buttons featuring each of your footballers for the extra show of support necessary during the playoffs and the eventual “Superbowl” they will play in.  Your husband will roll his eyes when you suggest he wear buttons.  He’s such a buzz kill.

Cute as a button

Then, while searching Amazon for nothing at all like Lion+paw+gold+blue earrings, you’ll find these little beauties, and purchase them in both blue and gold so you can coordinate your ears with the color jersey the team wears for each game.

It’s important to color coordinate with the team.

Your husband will say “What a waste. You can’t even see those things with all that damn hair you have“.  To which you will reply, “Suck it, hater. I’m wearing my royal blue hair band, so everyone will see my ears.

I should try and find one in gold also.

A week later, you’ll be shopping at the local grocery store and nearly drop the boxes of chocolate-dipped Oreos and Tampax when you spot this display:

Marketers are evil geniuses.

After purchasing the requiste blue, gold and white nail polish colors, you’ll begin experimenting with designs. And you’ll come to the conclusion that Miss Lisa at the local nail salon is far more capable of smooth polish application and decent nail designs. Here’s the proof:

Give me a break – I had to do this left-handed.

Unfortunately, it’s not any better when I get to use my right hand.

I learned my lesson – only one grotesquely-shaped paw print per hand necessary.

While trying to use your 60% off one item coupon at the local craft store, you’ll stumble into the body art section and casually toss these face paints into your basket:

You’ll find these in the body art section, which should be renamed the embarrass-your-husband section.

Of course, you’ll want to try them out at the local high school game — also the blue and gold Lions!  But, on your kid, first:

Paw prints painted on my oldest son. His brother said “No way mom. That’s just nuts.”

And the boys will have a great time cheering the high school on to victory during their playoff game, even though only 1 of them agreed to let me paint their face:

Everyone’s got blue and gold fever!

And once you’ve determined there are no nasty side effects or rashes, you’ll paint your own face for your boys’ football playoff game:

All this really shows is that 1) I need to touch up my roots, 2) the filter I picked on Instagram makes me look super red, and 3) a chemical peel might be a good idea.

Finally, while cleaning out the cabinets in the master bath, you’ll come across cans of spray-in hair color.

Maybe I should get this in black since it’s cheaper than my usual hair color.

The spray-in hair color was last used a few years ago for crazy hair day during the elementary school’s spirit week.  The kids (thankfully) didn’t have a reaction.

My test subjects.

The bottom of the can says expires in April 2009, but it should still be fine. Right?

The spray-in hair color will be the crowning touch to your Lions ensemble (and possibly help to cover the grey roots) as you sit in the stands and cheer on the boys during their Superbowl game.

Tshirts, buttons, earrings, head bands,  nail polish, face paint and hair color. Yep, at this point, full-on Blue & Gold Fever has taken over.

Obviously, the terms ‘Proud Sports Mom’ and ‘Nut Job’ are interchangeable.  Go Lions!

Author: A Side of Rice

Married, mom, marketing professional. Loves swearing, pedicures and celebrity meltdowns. Hates making dinner and working the little league concession stand.

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